It’s been A WEEK *drinks heavily*

Parents this one is for you:

You know how sometimes you think “Man, this parenting thing isn’t so bad. I think I’ve got it down pretty good.” And then the Universe is all “HAHAHAHAHAHA, hold my beer.” That was this week. Saturday night, I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep when Maya texted me from the living room saying she had gotten a big splinter in her foot from the floor. We have very soft floors in our rental and I’m constantly gluing down splinters. It’s just the nature of the floor and not something I had thought too much about. So I go downstairs and she shows me a big splinter indeed! It was maybe half an inch long and had definitely gone all the way in. It looksed like she got it out though so we cleaned and dressed it and kept an eye on it.

By Monday night, she was still having quite a bit of pain and some redness started to appear. Hmmm time for a trip to the doctor. They got us in right away and started looking at her foot. That’s when things went off the rails. “Well we can’t see anything but it looks infected so there may still be some in there. I think you should go to the hospital.” Uhhh ok. That’s an upgrade. So I haul ass over to the hospital because I already know that foot infections can get nasty quick. We make it there and everyone’s like “Hmmm.” The wound wasn’t much to look at but she was having some pain in other places and they started thinking that perhaps we indeed didn’t get it all out. I’m already mentally thinking of how I will accept my “Worst Mother of the Year” award.

X-rays didn’t show much so they decided to keep going and ordered an ultrasound. We got super lucky and there was an immediate appointment. We collectively hobble to the ultrasound room on the 4th floor. Maya is cracking jokes about hoping it’s a girl and what she’ll name her splinter if there’s anything there. Sure enough, a small piece shows up on the monitor. It’s only 1.5 cm so big but not obscenely big. We hobble back downstairs and await removal.

Once we got in the room, the medical team sprang into action. There was the main doctor and then several trainees who were all very interested in Maya’s foreign object. Maya has quite a bit of anxiety about medical procedures but she made it through the numbing process by cracking even more jokes and talking about how much ice cream she was going to get for her troubles. The doctor finally got to work and there were a few tiny pieces taken out. Then, as if he’s King Arthur, he pulls a splinter the size of Excalibur out of her foot. The entire room gasped and we were all like “OH MY GOD!!!!!!!”  You guys, this thing could have supported Jack after the sinking of the Titanic. I could have pitched a tent under it. If you really want to see it, click here. Suffice it to say, I felt HORRIBLE that I didn’t immediately take her to the doctor two days before.

So the kicker to all of this is that she and Josh were due to leave on their Daddy Daughter trip in two days (Thursday). Wednesday morning she was still having significant trouble getting around despite keeping off her foot. As much as I hated getting crutches with the trip coming up, she really needed them (the hospital staff initially didn’t think she’d need them). So back to the hospital we went to get some crutches. Thankfully they gave us elbow ones instead of the old school under arm ones; The elbow ones were much easier to manage. Maya was world’s better and it was definitely the right decision to get them.

We were all determined to keep this trip as planned. Now that she was more mobile, our concerns shifted to ensuring she and Josh both knew how to care for it without me there. I’m the nurse of the family so I always take care of this stuff. Now, though, it would be up to them. After several training sessions, we got a system down and she felt like she could do it all herself with minimal help. Knowing she had medicated ointment and 10 days worth of penicillin has also been helpful for my nerves.

So, the departure day finally arrived. Maya was in good spirits and went to school. When she got back, I packed her bag for her, made her a “go pack” with all of her supplies and medicine, made sure one last time she knew what to do, and then nervously drove them both to the airport and sent them on their way. They’re due to land in their destination in 30 minutes. I’m home alone for 11 days and I’ll be spending all 11 days feverishly (poor word choice?) neurotically finding things to keep me busy so I don’t think of all the ways Maya’s foot will fall off due to necrotic gangrene. Meanwhile, Maya is having the time of her life being treated like the princess she is. Wheelchair assistance at all the airports, people giving up their seats, perhaps even some extra scoops of ice cream. I know in my head she will be fine and have a wonderful time but OOF…

SEND MORE GLØGG

 

The Accidental 50 Miles

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my Harry Potter Fan running group, the Potterhead Running Club. It’s my safe place to be a nerd and openly love that part of myself. I am in Hufflepuff and, true to the book, we are fiercely loyal to our friends (we also love to eat sooooo ( fit right in). Each house has their own group on Facebook that is only open to self professed members of that house. We are there for each other through thick and thin. They are my people and we’ve all helped each other get through some really tough stuff. I can’t imagine life without them.

All that said, several times a year, the admins of the over all PHRC group plan challenge weeks. This past week was our favorite week of the year: when we join up with our fellow Slytherins to knock some mileage out of the park against the combined team of Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. The way our groups work is that we all have our respective teams in the Charity Miles walking app. The app tallies your miles and for every .1 of a mile they donate money to the charity of your choice. That’s how we got our tagline “I solemnly swear I’m up to so much good” For this week, they combined all of the totals from Slytherin with ours to see if we could beat a set goal by the end of the week. And this, friends, is how I began my journey of accidentally walking 50 MILES this week.

The first couple days of the challenge week, I got in smaller walks of about two miles each. The third day, I thought I would do something crazy and walk from my house to a lake that is near-ish. This decision turned out to be a life changing revelation! As it happens, the small lake I walked to is actually one of three inter-connected lakes called Utterslev Mose. The first day, I walked around the largest and in total got in 6.9 miles of walking that day. I was stunned at the beauty of the place. It was FULL of birds of all flavors. Swans, greylag ducks, mallards and the ever present magpies and hooded crows. To my surprise there was a huge nesting area for terns in the middle of the lake on one side which was oddly entertaining to watch. The end of my day was capped with three swans swimming in regal splendor next to a picturesque willow tree. That day alone I got in 9.3 miles which put me at 13.1 miles the first three days.

Saturday and Sunday were spent in Århus going to a concert and exploring. We had a great time seeing The Cordovas (who are totally awesome and you need to listen to them), visiting the ARoS museum and the quaint Den Gamle By open museum. All in all I got almost 8 miles of walking. At that point I was up to 20 miles!

Monday came and I was raring to go. I drove down to my favorite new spot and walked around the middle sized lake. This lake has a path that’s a bit more wooded and the lake itself is heavily filled with reeds. That made for even better birding as I walked! I was treated to more swans and the lovely, serene walking path through the woods. The next day, I vowed to walk around the second lake AND the first. Now I was up to 28.3 miles.

The final official day of the challenge was arguably the best. I made one final push for a big walk and planned a 10K around all three lakes. I walked around all three lakes and then did an extra loop around the smallest to get me to 10K. The smallest of the lakes treated me to flocks of greylag ducks, geese, crested grebes, a grey heron and ALL THE SWANS IN DENMARK.  I’ve never seen so many swans in one place in all my life. I know they’re jerks but, darn it, they’re so nice to look at! Another 7.4 miles in the book and I was up to 35.7.

I capped the whole week off with two trips to Bispebjerg Kirkegård which has a grove of cherryblossom trees in full bloom. It may sound odd to head to a cemetery for a good time but Denmark treats their cemeteries more like public parks and it’s a lovely place to go to for a stroll. Add in some smaller walks, errands, and a lunch time meet up with a fellow PHRC member and I ended yesterday with a total of 50.2 miles over the span of ten days.

Sadly, the Slytherpuffs didn’t win the challenge (even though we clocked a combined 23,338 miles) and my legs are jello BUT I feel great and I’ve found a few new beautiful places to visit when I need some sunshine. Which will now be every day.

The Substitution Game

One thing you have to get used to as an American when living in Denmark is making lots of substitutions. Americans are blessed with a diverse culture and relatively easy access to ingredients to make ethnic cuisines. Here in Denmark, the best places to shop when you are looking to go international are Irma, Føtex or Meny. Personally, I have at my disposal a Kvickly, two Nettos and a Fakta. All are super easy to walk to so I will defer to their offerings on what to make for dinner. 

For the most part, shopping here typically isn’t too bad. I can usually find what I need or a close proximity.  As long as you know your flavors and textures, there’s a sub for everything. Lately, though, my local shops have been a bit thin on international ingredients or even close subs for those. I went to Fakta to pick up supplies for dinner. Per usual, I don’t necessarily go with a plan; I look to see what meat is on sale and then go from there. First I picked up some good looking schnitzel cuts. Then I thought about the fact that we all at a HUGE meal of pork bbq with mashed potatoes and beans just yesterday. Knowing that Maya thinks most root vegetables and roasted carrots are straight from the 9th level of hell, I figured I’d pick something else out because she also doesn’t like spatzel (she breaks my German food loving heart daily). I also wasn’t super interested in yet another “winter white” meal. Back into the case the schnitzel went.

OK how about Chinese? Typically, Chinese isn’t too difficult to manage but I didn’t want to do anything like orange chicken. A good stir fry could be made with the chicken that was on sale. How about the old classic kung pao? Ok, great! I look at the recipe. Fakta has the chicken and peppers I need. Excellent! How about sesame oil? NOPE. Light soy sauce? NOPE. Rice wine vinegar? NOPE. Peanuts? NOPE. ARGH! So close yet so far. BUT they did have walnuts. Is there a Chinese chicken and walnut dish? I quickly google and find that, yes, there is! But it has like 800 ingredients, so, no thank you.

I start aimlessly wandering about staring at all the food in front of me trying to figure out how to make a meal for a house full of picky eaters. I look at the produce section and think of my “No way” list that applies to one or both of my other residents: No onions, beets, turnips, parsnips, broccoli, fennel, leeks, celery root, celery, spinach, mushrooms, green beans, white asparagus, cream sauces. MY GOD HOW DO WE EAT?! Suddenly, I pass an end cap of seasoned beans that are packaged to get you to use them for substitutions. Wouldn’t you know it, the bag of roasted kidney beans featured a picture of them sprinkled on top of something that vaguely looked like stir fry at first glance. The back of the package suggested you could use them in place of peanuts. And that, friends, is when I say “F*** it” and decided that, come hell or high water, I was making kung pao chicken.

I threw the bag of roasted kidney beans in my basket with wild abandon. Peppers? We’re getting the three pack! No sesame oil? Screw it! I’ll throw some sesame seeds in with the olive oil and call it a day. Rice wine vinegar? You’ll get white wine vinegar and you’ll like it. Finally, I grab the container of chicken tenders on sale and made a hasty escape.

It’s only 2:30 so I have yet to make my Franken Pao Chicken. Hopefully we’ll get close enough. I used this same tactic when I found out that black chickpeas is an excellent substitute for refried black beans (and quite healthy too!). Incredibly, Maya actually liked that so I hold out hope that this, too, will be successful. I say I have a solid 60-40 chance.